Hand dryers

Now, this is a silly thing that bothers me. Inadequate hand dryers. Hand dryers that do not work properly, that cut out all the time or have a really small 'field of blow'.

A hand dryers needs to be activated easily and not require a hand within 1cm of the sensor to operate. It also needs to be powerful otherwise it's fairly pointless and takes ages to dry the hands.

How do some hand dryers even get into production? Who buys that shit?!

Substandard hand dryers.

Don't do it. Pub/business owners, take note.

Coke please!

GLUG GLUG GLUG! FUCK!

So you're in an eatery, you order a coke. They bring you out a glass with ice and a glass bottle of coke. Ah, thanks, that's great. BUT OH NO, they're not finished! They then proceed to pour you out the coke like they're doing you a great favour, but they do it so carelessly, pouring it out from a height and fizzing the fuck out of it! Coke, like beer, needs to be poured slowly to preserve it's fizz. Sloshing that thing about with complete disregard is no way to be a good waiter/waitress!

It's stupid, I know, but I appreciate a good tasty glass of coke and bad coke is not good!

Just a note to you waiting staff, thank you.

Tron Squash!

Today I think I had possibly the greatest idea I/mankind has ever had. Tron squash.

"What's Tron squash?" I hear you say! Let me explain, the game of squash which is normally played by old men, but with a twist. Rules are the same, the game IS the same, it's the effects which are new! We all know what squash looks like, what the court and ball look like. Now, imagine the court, all dark! Those lines, they glow fluorescent red, the ball is a glowing green, the racquets are neon blue! See where I am going with this? Players would wear white and be lit up by UV lights, and could wear cool goggles that glow too.

It's like normal squash, but in the future! If the ball goes outside the foul line, the whole court flashes red and a big 'NHHHHHHH' noise sounds, each time the ball hits the wall, a glowing ripple where the ball went is accompanied by a satisfying 'pling' (almost like pong) happens.

This is THE game of the next millennium! Someone just needs to make it so...

3 years!

Yes, it doesn't take a mathematical genius to work out what I could possibly mean by '3 years'. It is indeed the amount of time I have not posted for. So, for some reason and possible that reason being because I think I am rather funny, I am back to blog again.

I have a lot to say about life and the things that I do, so even if it's only for the benefit of myself in years to come, it's something for me to do!

So, where do I start? I guess an update about the last 3 years. I went on tour, came back safe, decided that my job wasn't for me and I was to leave the Army. Spoke to a few people and thought maybe a change in job would be better than leaving it. Fast forward a year or two after that and I am now in my new job in Int. It's a much better choice for me, I can stand the job and even enjoy it at times. Promotion is better, pay is better and so are future prospects. All round win.

As for girls, yes there has been some. Quite a few maybe. Most I have broken up with when I realised it wasn't going to work long term, only 1 really broke up with me and she was the only one that I ever thought was the right one. Aside from that, I'm doing alright and don't say single long. I am actually looking for the right one believe it or not, but maybe I don't see the problem with having fun with girls that I know it's not going to work with. This isn't always the best way and I am sure there are a good handful of girls that think I am an asshole. Oh well, shit happens!

I am currently seeing a girl, she's nice and we get on well. I am certain she likes me quite a lot, but I am not sure how this one will pan out. Not saying I have doubts, but I get the feeling she is a serial dater and probably has been with more guys in the last 6 months than I have in 6 years! She says she is a virgin, which I do actually believe, but sucking dicks only doesn't make you whiter than white! She is good at it though.

So yeah, that's a general run down. I think I will post more specific things as they happen. If I can be bothered.

Americans Rule!

So, just spent a couple of weeks on a training exercise down on one of the US Army bases in the South of Germany.

One word, AAFES (that's not even really a word is it?)

These stores rule! If you don't already know, it's a store for US forces selling all sorts of everyday products you'd find in any domestic US store. This is especially useful when serving abroad. Now, us Brits have similiar, called the NAAFI. The difference being our one is garbage. Overpriced crap and a shitty selection. Take something in the UK priced at 2 British Pounds, change that into euros and then just add some random amount and you get like 5 euros. The AAFES actually sells stuff at a great price which you'd find in any US store. They keep the price in dollars so you know you're not getting ripped off.

Now I love US products, all the brands of chips, drinks and chocolate. Bad thing is, I can't get these anymore, and I want some bloody Cheetos!

Back to UK!

Turns out we are getting more leave right before we go to Iraq, which is good. We have a 2 week exercise in Bavaria and then back home for a week or so. Then it's straight off to Iraq on the 14th May.

Good to have a bit more leave, but it's awkward as I've already said my goodbyes to everyone back home as I thought I wouldn't be back. Now I am going to be back and have to say bye and shit again.

Back in Germany

So that's me back in Germany now, after 2 weeks at home for Easter. That's the last time I'll be home before I go to Iraq now. It's pretty shitty saying goodbye to everyone knowing it'll be many months and many thousands of miles before you see them again. They keep thinking I'm going to die or something. I reassure them it's not that bad, but it doesn't help. I better not fucking die now! Not because I'll be dead, but because I'll be wrong, and I am NEVER wrong. Seriously, I am never wrong.